Dennessa Writes

Hypothesis explains the causality of existence as the relationship between science and God. For science, a higher power is a hypothesis that cannot be tested, so the scientific method cannot be applied to it. However, while scientists believe that the phenomenon that is God is a philosophy only backed up by belief, I have another hypothesis of my own: We're not godless, for we believe in a god factor.   When people say they don't believe in God, I don't believe them. There's always a god factor, some call it good luck, some believe in some mantra, others in an unseen power, while people like me regardless of religion believe in God.   Whatever your belief is, the fact that you find purpose in that belief, it is your god factor. To Christians, which is the religious sect I fall under, God gives us a purposeful life. To some people, a healthy habit does; like exercising or yoga, some others hold onto artifacts as their good luck charms, for others it's a person...

You see the title, Ada? It should actually be a chieftaincy title or an award in itself. Welcome to the blog lovelies. If you’re not Igbo or non-Nigerian, Ada is the name given to a first or only daughter in an Igbo household. The Ada is usually the one on whom the onus falls to take care of the siblings, to be responsible for chores, caretaking, cooking, and a list of other activities too numerous to mention. In my place, Ndoki, in Rivers State, Nigeria, the Ada is also known as Nwunne (or like my dad called it, small mommy) because when the mothers aren’t at home, the Ada must step in and play the motherly role. Being Ada has its perks, you are respected, lauded, sometimes, but with the perks of being Ada come the numerous responsibilities. In every home, Nigerian, African or not, the first daughter syndrome is an actual thing. There’s a daunting neglect for that child because they should be independent, dependable, and of their own self take initiative at all times. They are the one...

Hey lovelies, welcome to today's episode - closure, a word that people truly use yet in absolute negation of its true meaning.  Looking back, I can’t believe this is where it all started, but… I was 9, I woke up to my mom’s soft sobs, thinking back now, I think she was trying to hide how broken she was, but I've always been a light sleeper so I heard the muffled, throaty, sobs. The ones that have you gasping for breath. My mom had just received an accursed call, my grandad, her father-in-law, and biggest support system had died. When I woke up, I rushed to her side and asked, tears filling my eyes, Mommy, why are you crying? She croaked her response, Grandpa is dead, before asking me to go and brush and get ready for school. It felt like the rug was pulled from under my feet and I landed bare-bottom on nails. All I knew about prayer at the time was this, the Lord does not despise the prayer of children, and a broken and contrite heart the Lord will not turn away. Armed with tho...

  Hey lovelies, let’s address something that people now call potato potatoes but is not shall we?   There's a new wave of the use of certain words in the past few years, words with very strong, deep, and heavy meanings if you don't mind my repetition of adjectives, but it is to stress the point that words like misogyny, chauvinism, male-identified and sexist aren't words to be used loosely, especially not because someone rubs you off the wrong way. I find that the influx of these words into our vocabulary, unfortunately, did not come with the meanings of the words because why is Amara calling Yinka a misogynistic because he has a preferred choice of appearance for his wife, her neighbor, who in fact doesn't mind?    Why is Tinuade calling Obialor chauvinistic because he has strong opinions she doesn't agree with? And why on earth is Dennis sexist because he believes that the right order of things is that humans should be heterosexual? I know that this Gen-Z era came...

  Hi lovelies, a lot has happened since the last time I came here, and for a while, I thought about stopping entirely. I felt I had lost touch with my love for stringing words together. My dad was a huge inspiration for my writing, he passed a couple of months back and I am yet to intentionally come to terms with it. In the past seven years, I have lost the loves of my life, a partner, a grandma, and a father. I feel like a soldier on sentry who has seen, inadvertently so, that doom is brewing but cannot leave the station and all lines are cut from the central. Most of the time, I sit in isolation, and I look for the next project to take on. I look for where to expend myself. I feel like I’m being watched, I feign indifference, I try to move on but, let me explain something to you, today, grief has a different character arch for different people. I know this from experience. Grief gives people a different perspective on life and while you might have suffered a similar loss, grief i...

Hello lovelies, compliments of the season. Let’s delve in, shall we… At the end of the year, seemingly every app you’ve used righteously that’s connected to the internet gives you an end of year wrap/survey, work places and/ organizations give you appraisals, KPIs, etc, these naturally, point out your prowess, your progress report, your lifestyle as it concerns them. Interestingly, it is a human thing to do; self-surveys, unfortunately, some carry out these surveys in comparison to a peer, a colleague, a sibling or even a rival. This tends to, most of the time cause a feeling of disappointment, despair or desperation. Now, in itself, a self-survey is not a bad thing to do, it is even still not a bad thing to compare and contrast as the case may be, it only becomes a bad thing when such comparisons and contrasts do not make you take positive decisions going forward.  An instance, in the past two years, it seemed like the girls in my circle all settled down, at first, it felt awkward...

There was a country… Good day lovelies, welcome to the blog, I can’t help but bring you laughter before we delve into the topic of the day. Have you seen that video of the guy who was singing Lord give us Ibu, take Tinubu? It is the funniest thing I have seen on Tinubu’s internet in a very long time, find it and watch it, life is too serious these days, take the moment to laugh. There was indeed a country… my country, Nigeria.  I grew up a typical ajebota, watched cable TV since I can remember, drank boiled water, then bottled water and then graduated to Cway straight from the dispenser. Went to the best/choicest schools in my city and had a robust vocabulary to choose from when I wanted to explain my discontent, a proper bottie. But, that isn’t what this post is about, it is about the nostalgia I feel for the country now lost. I might not remember the Abacha regime because I was quite young, but I remember that a bottle of coke was 25 naira, an egg costed 15 naira, and 5 na...

Hi guys, I’m tired of apologising for my tardiness here so, can we please just accept that I’ll write here as often as I can? Thanks for your understanding. Happy new month lovelies. Today, I want to share something rather personal with you, in hopes that if it helps allay the fear or depression of even one person, my goal is reached.  Well, remember when I wrote the post about loving correctly? That was sometime in 2020/2021. I had a boyfriend that I’d been in and out of a relationship with for a while and at the time, we’d broken up. Well, news flash, we got back together and broke up a few times more until last year when he decided he was ready to come and meet my parents. This part’s heavy so let’s just get to the cusp of the matter; the time came and he was a no show. This was two weeks before my grandma who was also a constant in my life died. That happened two weeks to Christmas and I n the moment, I refused to break, matter of fact I had a story workshop at hand so I tried ...

  Definition What defines you? At your very core, who do you think you are? What labels or titles are merely add-ons and which ones truly represent you? Hi lovelies, been eons right? Welcome to the blog, we’re almost four years old and it has been an enthralling journey. For the better part of my adult life, I struggled to find myself. Every time I was asked, ‘tell me about yourself in an interview’, I froze. Who am I? When asked what I believed in, I could only muster up to say, God and family. But what does that mean? Who are you? What are your values? What do you believe in? Do these questions keep you up at night or cause you to freeze during a somewhat peaceful moment? Do they come to you as a great epiphany during the cool of day or greet you right after supposedly doing your best? More than anything else, do you have answers for them? The past five years of my life I spent dating a man who challenged me intellectually. I mean he passed more for a mentor some days than my par...

 Hi lovelies, good evening, this fine evening. Today's post is about the haven God through my sister led me to and how my life changed ever since. I wrote this poem to depict the transformation that occurred in my life and as our third anniversary draws nigh, I thought to share it with you too. Hello, fear, I've come to bid you goodbye; You, depression and all of your like-minded buddies can now evacuate my environment. I know you're wondering what changed, Let me brief you; This year, I joined a family, I came to a new birth - new life. I realized who I am, I changed my vocabulary. You see, I learnt new things in depth, I finally overcame you. Let me share some of the things  I've learnt with you; You know how I was scared of the future? In my new home, I explained these fears to my daddy; He told me this, you look with your eyes, but you see with your mind! I did not understand, I was still a babe. But patience thrives here, he explained further and I learned a new wo...

  Fii fii imagination! When we were kids, we had tall dreams, graduate at 23 (be a medical doctor) be married at, at most 25, and be happy, the end. I mean that was my own goal, nothing earth shattering you know, just have a career, a partner and a family of my own. Hey lovelies, been eons hasn't it? Welcome to the blog and happy new month. It's my birth month and my, have I been in my feelings. I did some soul searching and I'm putting this out here to quell the noisome pestilence inna me head. If you did achieve all of the aforementioned at said age, welldone. If not, let me try to allay your fears, neither did I. Anyhoo, since our imagination ended at twenty-five and happy, then, if you're in your late twenties or are in your early thirties, in fact if you've passed twenty-five suffice me to ask how markate?  No I'm not throwing jabs or the likes, I really want to know. I've been pondering, I think I finally understand why older cousins began to alienate...

Good day, lovelies. Dennessawrites is 3. Whoopwhoop!!! Today let's talk about Jacklin of trades, this topic won me first position in a writing room full of amazing minds, but I guess heart trumps imaginative prowess sometimes. Since we could understand, we were rated by achievements. High honor bestowed on those with the most feats. A tag-line of derogation followed those with the least. For those in between, pressure mounted, for in the in between, a glass is never half-full, its rather near empty. So I fought not to be looked down on, to never be glossed over, to be an achiever but more than anyone else, I seemed to fail myself. I was once a biochemist, but I was not the best there was. I dabbled with photography and I was not the best at it too. So I looked after children, ten and below, there I blossomed, but like it is with human nature, I wanted more.  I became an Environmental manager and then tragedy befell the earth. So I began to write from the confines of my room, I hope...

 Hard as it might be, be mindful of what you say around kids. Hey lovelies, I can't remember the last time I was sweet to y'all forgive me. Life's goings-on have a way of stripping you of manners, but manners maketh man. Body shaming equals body loathing which equals inferiority complex. I know the route down there. I frolicked around that environment for far too long and sometimes I still dabble around its nooks and crannies. Holup! When we talk about body shaming y'all just rush to fat. I have never been fat, I weighed a whooping..... 2.9kg at birth and in my latest of late 20's, I cannot boast of even weighing 65kg, I'm at 64 right now, I take the win.  A takeaway from this post should be that you can body shame a fat/thick person or lean/thin person, either way, do not! Ah, ah Chidera you no sabi chop oh, try so that man fi see you marry. Nkechi you go start to jug oh your yansh don too big. Beati e be like you go start to drink apetamin e be lik...