The First Daughter Syndrome (Ada)

You see the title, Ada? It should actually be a chieftaincy title or an award in itself. Welcome to the blog lovelies.

If you’re not Igbo or non-Nigerian, Ada is the name given to a first or only daughter in an Igbo household. The Ada is usually the one on whom the onus falls to take care of the siblings, to be responsible for chores, caretaking, cooking, and a list of other activities too numerous to mention. In my place, Ndoki, in Rivers State, Nigeria, the Ada is also known as Nwunne (or like my dad called it, small mommy) because when the mothers aren’t at home, the Ada must step in and play the motherly role.

Being Ada has its perks, you are respected, lauded, sometimes, but with the perks of being Ada come the numerous responsibilities. In every home, Nigerian, African or not, the first daughter syndrome is an actual thing. There’s a daunting neglect for that child because they should be independent, dependable, and of their own self take initiative at all times. They are the ones who should be exemplary in being, prim and proper and held responsible for the shortcomings of their younger siblings in the absence of their parents. An Ada is often pushed into the role of responsibility early, she is usually the co-mother, associate parent, and assistant disciplinarian. 

The Ada is usually the least favorite sibling in most homes because she is emotionally spent or the favorite sibling because she is the approachable parent-figure. However, the Ada is the most emotionally neglected child because much is expected of her, and being burden-sharer with her parents, they forget that she too is their offspring.

Today is the day of the first girl child and I join a host of others to thank every Ada, we see your efforts, we deeply appreciate your endeavors and we say d’aalu soh! May your own not be taken from you. May the investments in the lives of your siblings be worthwhile and may you find partners strong enough to give you rest.