Tales by Moonlight (Osondu)

As a young lass growing up with her grandparents, the TV station that was almost never changed was NTA. I hated the 9'o clock news and the gibberish they sat spewing for over an hour mostly because I never brought myself to comprehending it. My favorite show however was a Friday evening program - tales by moonlight, it had children like me and an adult who told them beautiful stories. Growing up in a Nigerian home there are always proverbs or proverbial stories of uncles you had never met or aunties or cousins, note however, the fact that you have never and might never meet these people. I likened them to the stories of aunty Ada in the tales by moonlight. My favorite proverbial story is of an uncle's uncle and his friend and their sojourn to Lagos in search of greener pastures. My uncle is an orator, a seasoned one, my uncle's uncle, I have never met, I mean the particular one in this tale. My uncle's uncle and his dear friend traveled to Lagos in a bus together and on their way they agreed that upon their return they needn't tell people about their sojourn because the name of the bus they'll return in will tell it all. It was in the era of luxurious buses that had all sorts of names. A year later it was time to return and each returned with buses that best described their experience. My uncle's uncle's friend returned with the bus called "ekele diri chineke" and my uncle's uncle returned with the one called "osondu". If you're igbo you get the joke already (igbo kwenu) but for my non-igbo readers, ekele diri chineke means praises to God while osondu means run for your life. In the comment section you can tell me your own tale of that relative you never met, it just might be my next tale by moonlight.