A dress and an address

Growing up we were taught to "dress the way we wanted to be addressed", when further explained it was said to mean responsible. Responsible was contextual to each family - for a christian family like mine, being responsible meant girls were not allowed to wear trousers or short clothes, in extreme cases they were not allowed to perm their hair, put on makeup or jewelry. The boys had to have their hair neatly cut low without parts or styles, they were to wear full length of jeans with a belt firmly holding it to their waist, they were either tucked in or if the shirt was let loose it had to cover their belt.

  Over the years fashion changed and boys and girls grew into young adults with models and fashion icons they emulated, so orthodox doctrines were made to take the back seat in the society. Girls began not only to perm their hair but dye it and apply extensions and attachments to them, boys began to keep a fro or weaves and other times kept their waves on swim. Girls turned to ladies who wore short gowns, trousers and mini-skirts. Boys turned into young men who wore ripped jeans, skinny jeans, sagged their pants and wore short shirts.

  The advent of a change in the fashion world did not however cause a change in the perception that boys and girls should dress a certain way. In our society job interviews, school acceptance and even normal conversations with people is highly dependent on how you're perceived from your dressing. Ladies with fitted clothes exposing contour lines are cat-called, while ladies in maxi clothes are called pastors. Men with weaves on and piercings are referred to as irresponsible, while a man with a clean shave, properly tucked in is perceived as a professional.

  Gaga, a banker whose occupation suggests a suit every weekday had this to say - " I bumped into a customer on a weekend at an ATM queue, she came to me and asked me never to wear my shorts again". He thought it had a hole or was stained but she went on to say that he had a protrusion that was distracting. Many atimes, a person is expected to dress a certain way because others find their preference distracting.

  Ebhoma, a banker was once told in the office that she was the least sexy because she didn't wear fitting and or exposing clothes. Other times, people are expected to dress in a way that befits a certain kind of job, regardless of their preference.

  I was once told at a job that I looked too sexy for the position. My intellect was not in doubt just my appearance.
  A pastor's wife was trolled for not conforming to the holy style of dressing because she wore makeup, had different colors of dye on her hair and was comfortable in a bikini in some of her pictures.
 Barry an entrepreneur, said "I went to an interview over dressed, because in the context of our society a suit and tie is made for interviews".

 My stylist has been victimized by SARS a lot because he has dreadlocks on and piercings, he is a husband, father of two and an entrepreneur.

   Until the society we live in realizes that we are not what we wear or that our dressing expresses our art rather than our person, dressing the way we want to be addressed will only be a tool that promotes bullying, discrimination and reduction of self confidence.