Pillow Talk

 "Pillow talk is an intimate, authentic, unguarded conversation that occurs between two lovers", says Alisa Ruby Bash. I agree with the intimate, authentic and unguarded conversation part, but for this post I'll have to leave the lovers part and say that it's the conversations you'd rather have with your inner man, simply because you feel no one else would understand. 

Some nights I stay awake conversing with my inner man, the part of me that comes alive with daily affirmations. I tell her you're strong enough to beat this, you're tough enough to continue, you're anointed enough for a breakthrough, you have a superfluous amount of grace for your designated race. These are on the nights that my spirit is high and or inspired by a sermon. This isn't always the case. 

Welcome to the blog lovelies, remember your conversations birth convictions, be unavailable for negative conversations that are dour to your being. Feel free to say miss me with that nonsense. 

I am my biggest critic and as such any and every thing you think you can criticise me for, I probably already did criticise myself of it. In the depth of the night, or during my mirror sessions, or at the point of making a decision. My ambiverted persona tends to be more introverted than extroverted and in such moments I become judge, jury and executioner of myself. The upside to this is that it helps keep me in check, care less about others' opinions of me (like Arrya star puts it, "if I cast then I cast, I come this life all alone...") and learn from mistakes. The downside, as every advantage must have a disadvantage is that, I'm almost always on guard, difficult to appreciate small wins and very into myself.  But, pillow talks are a medley to my sometimes rhythmless soul.  

Ever had those nights where sleep was far and try as you may your mind had a thousand unclosed tabs it was working through? Yope, those nights with your throbbing heart and flashbacks of all of your ineptitude?Those nights when your head and mind are in sync to persecute you. Those are the nights when pillow talk might just save the day. It was on one of such nights that I wrote this;- 

    In the depth of the night they mock me

    Laughter from ineptitude,

    And sarcasm from failure

    The waltz from anxiety

    And sermons from fear

    My Jolly companions 

    They entertain me.

    You'll never be good enough

    They tell me.

     My night of restless sleep

     Are fanned by my worries

     But on Sunday morn,

      I don't fellowship with them.

      For in the church,

      Atonement for sin is preached 

     And our relationship for a while severed

     Until twilight,

     When we fellowship again. 

Ever had what would've been a bad day pan out okay because the right person kept you company? That's what the right pillow conversations with self does for you. Speak words of affirmation to yourself, encourage yourself, pray for yourself, you're a child of God darling, bless yourself, make plans for yourself and enjoy your own company sometimes. 

I'll leave you with crest karaoke bar's motto, create your happy, I'll just add to it by saying create your own happy during your pillow talks with your inner man. Till we meet again, byeeeeeeeeeee.