Through the lens of my leggediz benz

 I was told not to play with the street kids while growing up, they were not allowed in our house and I wasn't allowed anywhere near them, but kids will always be kids and boundaries were never enough to keep us away from playing. However to pass muster with these kids I so loved to play with, I needed to pick a few of their slangs - and that is where I got the slang leggediz benz (it actually means your legs, since growing up a mercedes benz was en vogue, a leggediz needed a benz to tush it up). Welcome to the blog lovelies its been a minute, sorry for the long break in transmission.

Have you heard of small girl, big god? Thanks for coming?  My sponsor? And Uniport girl? A litany of codes that mean anything but their literal meaning. On the streets of Port Harcourt, I found out while cruising my leggediz that in this city, the order of the day is keeping up. This simply means living a false life, you know; those who drink garri inside the house and come out with toothpick, those who drink sachet water at home and buy bottle water in public, feigning they can't drink such, those who spend their last card on frivolities to impress those who are also trying to impress them. These sect are the ones who keep up. On these streets the only real thing is the fakeness of it all.

I've come to appreciate this city more with my ever ready leggediz, using it to avoid traffic, reduce cost of transportation, for good old leisurely strolls and mostly to observe "Port Harcourt girls". It is from my findings that I realized that gait can differentiate an ajebo from an ajepako and that an ajepako who knows how to keep up can transcend class boundaries with the right gait and falsified twisting of tongue to form an accent. Combing through town in my leggediz, I realized that small girls found big gods when they went to catchment areas in ubers and ate meals that they didn't quite like, not for taste, but the hole it dug in their pockets.  I learned that impresarios were easily found and that realness was a scarce commodity.

I saw a tweet once by a celebrity (whose fame is desultory to say the least), saying all Port Harcourt girls are runs girls, and my, did it take home training to not respond - ya mama dia will you geddifok, but I was appeased by the comments and so I didn't need to become a werey, yet in a calm moment a burst of thoughts came spinning through my head - that's how Port Harcourt girls are perceived, in fact the very coining of the phrase "Port Harcourt - girl" had an undertone of askance to the said girl's morality, it was a euphemism of some sort to say Port Harcourt girl, instead of saying runs girl or ashewo. In that moment I remembered consciously detaching myself from the phrase Port Harcourt girl on several occasions, and rather saying I'm a Rivers girl, and a feeling of guilt overwhelmed me. 

Disclaimer: Not all Port Harcourt girls are runs girls or superficial. The knowledge that we've been generalized as such irks me, as it does many other decent well mannered ladies. Uniport is not a whorehouse but we're not even ready for that conversation.

Often described as a hothouse flower, I've become verbose only in writing, and very observant of people and trends. The best way to explore my city and gain although vaguely so, any type of experience, is through the lens of my leggediz benz.